Dell

Dell

“In the perfect reality the thousand mile journey is no different than a one mile journey,” 

Don.

The long black lamp cord tightened around the man’s neck. His hands first went to the cord that Dell pulled and meekly prodded at it.  Then the hands went to Dell’s face as they took a few guessed open-handed swings.  One landed causing Dell to wince and loosen his grip for a moment.  Then the next moment he pulled again even harder now and felt murder strengthen his weary fists.  He heard the man choke loudly this time and it wasn’t long before he stopped struggling and began to slouch.  The room was spotted with bodies.  There were two dead by the door- both with faces bruised and bodies broken.  A dark figure lay face down in a pool of blood near the wall opposite to where Dell’s latest victim slouched.  And he let that one fall to the floor as well.  Without an enemy left alive he walked into his kitchen.  When he found no one there he followed the hallway to his brother’s and then his parent’s room.  But still he found no one.  He felt hot and tired.  The boiling certainty he felt while hunting and killing the guards moments ago suddenly left him.  Where are they?  Where is my family?  He ran to the dining room and then he turned, “No, no! No,” he said coolly and to himself since no one was there.  He returned to the horrible room and went straight to the guard he had strangled.  His face was not visible from where he stood.  Dell bent down and looked at the face of his brother; pale and empty.

That’s when Dell woke up in a cold sweat and hit Mara in the face with a jerk of his wrist.  The strike had caused her to shout and swear and then sit up with him.  It had not broken skin or her nose but still she covered it with one hand while looking around for the danger.  Before he could apologize she said, “we have to do something.”  She looked at her hands as if to check for blood and scrunched her nose.  “If we don’t do something about your family soon you’ll be doing worse to me than just bruises.”  Still, she was more sympathetic than angry, for now.  He had been having the same dream now daily.  It usually caused him to jerk a leg or arm a little bit every time he saw that warm dead face.

“I’m sorry,” He said still very tired.

“Ok, yea,” She said and gently stroked the side of his face before lying down again.  He followed her lead.  The next time he woke up he grabbed her and kissed her.  When he stood the cool morning air greeted his exit from their joined sleeping bags.  The face of his dead brother flashed in his head but he ignored it as best he could.  To take his mind off of it he went to sit with Don, one of the Worshippers.  Don was a high ranking member of the group of Worshippers that had come to join he and Merol in the woods.  Dell had been unsure at first of the newcomers but had come to appreciate their resilience and despise their patience.

“In the perfect reality the thousand mile journey is no different than a one mile journey.” Don remarked to Merol. 

Merol grunted and looked up at Dell.  Without looking away from Dell he said, “Yet in the perfect reality no such journey would need to be made.” And then turned back to Don across the empty fire pit.  Dell sat and let their philosophy wash over him and take him.  I can’t let my dreams take me down.  I have to be here and now. Don and Merol quietly debated the fundamentals of what would consist of a perfect reality while Dell stabbed the wet dirt with a stick, listening.

“There is no end, no beginning.  And if that is true then the journey is all we have.”  Don claimed. 

“Ok true.  But who is to say there is no beginning.”  Merol added provocatively.

“You are,” Dell said and looked up at each.  “You should know if there is a beginning or end or what the perfect reality consists of.  That is your faith and your responsibility.” Dell heard himself and that seemed to heat his sudden anger more.  “There are no more answers in the World Worshippers as there are in any other religion. Maybe less.”  He cracked the stick when he stabbed it one last time into the earth.  “That is the fundamentals of your religion.  If you claim to believe it, so believe it accurately!”

“This is a discussion about the faith.  To better understand it we have to discuss it, right?” Merol asked.

“No. No because if you do then you’re claiming this,”  Dell sectioned off a empty piece of air with his hands, “or this,” and he sectioned off another portion of air.  “But you don’t know if it’s true or not.  It just frustrates me.  Can you believe something you don’t completely know?”  Dell threw his arms up.

“That’s just what it is Dell, that’s faith.”  Don said and Merol nodded.  Dell hated that for some reason.  He raged inside and did not know why.  He stared at the two men, disgusted.  And when the rage did not go away he stood and left.  He first walked towards the sleeping bags.  They would be warm and Mara would be sleeping there.  But he felt dirty with anger and guilt so he turned away from the camp entirely.